What We Can’t Be With


An instructor of mine once said, “What we can’t be with runs our lives.” In essence, instead of being moved by what we want, we can be driven by our need to avoid. If I am afraid of failure, I don’t take the risks that will lead to real success. If I am afraid of rejection, I don’t reach out for connection and instead remain isolated. My fear is in the driver’s seat, and I don’t get what I really want. So one element of coaching is learning to tolerate our fear, how to overcome it, and how to bypass it.

We need get to know our inner gremlin or saboteur, to come to terms with our fears and aversions. Once we can do this, we become able to make choices and take risks. We may succeed or not, but we are now at the wheel. Where to? The destination of our choice.